We are social species, with millions of years of training conditioning us into behaviours, assumptions pecking orders and reactions. I recently read Jordan Peterson’s 12 rules for life (it’s good) and discovered ours, like many other species brains neurochemistry literally changes after a defeat or trauma.
Bear with me, as I try to explain this poorly via lobsters. Lobsters, like almost all species who co-habit, have learned tricks toward establish dominance and social status, while risking the least amount of possible damage. Lobsters need a safe hiding place to rest and as they grow and shed their shells they are vulnerable and exposed for extended periods of time. There are scarce number of high quality shelters, and other lobsters continually seek them out. So, they fight for the space, having developed complex defensive and aggressive behaviours built into their nervous system (research shows even lobsters raised in isolation know what to do when this happens). They dance around like a boxer, opening and raising claws, moving back and forth, mirroring their opponent. They also use jets positioned under their eyes which spray a mix of chemicals telling the other lobster its size, health, mood etc. Sometime it will be obvious if one should back down from the other, but often they will advance and perform a series of incremental aggression moves. Disputes always end with a clear winner and loser.
This is where it gets interesting. In the aftermath of a losing battle, the defeated lobster becomes unwilling to fight further, even against another previously defeated lobster. It loses confidence, sometimes for days. If the defeat was bad, the lobsters brain basically disolves – disolves!. Then it grows a new, subordinate’s brain – more appropriate to its new, lowly position. The lobster loser’s brain chemistry differs from that of the winner, reflected in their relative postures. Whether a lobster is confident or cringing depends on its serotonin ratio. Serotonin regulates postural flexion, so a lobster with high serotonin is cocky and strutting making it appear tall and dangerous.
Drugs prescribed to depressed humans (serotonin reuptake inhibitors), have much the same chemical and behavioural effect.
Humans who have experienced trauma see a similar brain effect to lobsters:
- Our brains stop processing memory fully, leaving us with fragments of what happened, sometimes contributing to the feeling of disassociation.
- Our ability to manage a range of emotion decreases.
- We become stifled and stuck, have trouble planning for the future, and our self-development and actualization comes to a halt.
Your brain processes the world differently after a defeat.
How do we work around this…
There is an ancient calculator deep within the foundation of your brain that monitors where you are positioned in society. It assesses dominance and watches how you are treated by other people. If it renders you judged by your peers, and of little worth it counter restricts serotonin, making you more physically and physiologically reactive (if you’re a female for example, feeling or literally being invisible in a boardroom of men, this is the part that reacts by making your shoulders droop inward and you get smaller in your chair).
If you are high status, the pre-reptilian mechanics assume you are secure and with high social support your serotonin flows.
Posture matters, physiology matters – it can change your brain chemistry and your circumstances. If you slump around with the bearing of a defeated lobster people will assign you a lower status, your brain counter will assign you equally low dominance and reduce your serotonin. This will confirm your status, make you anxious, sad and less likely to stand up for yourself.
If you look small and defeated, you will feel small and defeated. If you start to straighten up, stand taller than you are, people will look at you and treat you differently. People like yourself will start to assume you are competent and able and your brain will reward you – a positive feedback loop installed.
So, to change your circumstances, to increase your positive brain chemistry, quit drooping and humping, speak your mind – as Peterson say’s “Stand up straight with your shoulders back”
The occasional interrobang ‽ 